pregnancy · thoughts

my promise to instill confidence in my future son

Inspiration can be found everywhere and yesterday I found it watching The Steve Harvey Show. I don’t normally watch the show, but I was home vegging out in front of the TV and found myself caught up in the guest he had on. She was a plus-size model and was explaining how she got started in the biz. To sum it up, she shared her struggles and rejections, but ultimately never gave up and eventually found success — all of which she says she couldn’t have done without the confidence her mother had instilled in her. She started a confidence boot camp to help others find comfort in their skin and help them to achieve happiness within themselves. She met a lot of people who didn’t grow up as fortunate as she did — no mother telling them how beautiful they are or reminding them that they can achieve anything.

This got me thinking…

I, too, have been so very fortunate to have loving, supportive parents who have always pushed me to follow my dreams, told me I was beautiful when I failed to place in a pageant, reminded me that success is always within arms reach, and have never faltered to pick me up every time I was down.

I’m about to embark on the parenting journey for the first time and this really struck a chord with me. My baby boy needs me to lift him up each and every day. He might not ask for it and it might not seem like it, but it is my job as his mother to remind him of his worth each day. It will be his father and I who make him realize what he is capable of, push him to see the greatness we see, and challenge him to exude confidence, fight for success, never settle, and always strive for more.

It starts at a young age, but doesn’t truly ever end. I am currently going through a career change at 31 and it’s been challenging. I couldn’t have done it without my support system. Luckily, it wasn’t as difficult as it could have been and might have been for someone else. The episode of Steve Harvey made me realize it’s because of my parents that I can tactfully handle this unfavorable situation. I’ve been blessed to have such a strong cheering section all of my life that confidence has been instilled in me and now remains. I’m not afraid of failure. Sometimes we take a step backwards in order to get two steps ahead. I was raised to believe that everything happens for a reason. I was taught that in order to achieve great success, we must endure hardships.

I know it is my duty as a mother to instill the same confidence in my son.

I’m not saying I don’t want my son to experience failure, because that’s inevitable and a valuable learning experience. My son will feel insecure at times. He’ll doubt his worth or capability. He’ll question if he made the right decisions.

It’s my job to instill resilience and confidence in him so he can rebound quickly and push forward during difficult situations that push his limits and test his strength.

I love realizations such as the one I had yesterday. It makes me so excited to meet my baby boy. I can’t wait to share with him what I learned growing up. I can’t wait to remind him of his greatness each and every day. I can’t wait to build him up when he feels like there’s no getting to the top. I can’t wait to tell him how handsome he is when a girl breaks his heart. I can’t wait to remind him how bright his future is. I can’t wait to learn his insecurities and be the Band-Aid that conceals the pain. I can’t wait to push him to take the next step when he can’t see straight ahead. I can’t wait to show him how loved he is. I can’t wait to be his support system. I can’t wait to be his mom.

My hope is for all children to experience this kind of love and support and for all moms, expecting moms, and future moms to be the light in your child’s darkness.

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